ellensagh

109. Measurement

      I belonged to a singing group once.  The woman who led it said she would sing us a question and that we would know our own answer.  Carolyn McDade sang this question to us “What shall I do with so great a love, so great a love?”
I knew my answer right away and it went like this: “Be who I am, be who I am, be who I am.”
This morning when I opened my journal, there was a question, “What shall I do?” My answer was “be”.  So, if my goal in life is to be, how do I measure the steps I need to take to be in that state at all times.

      I have ideas all the time.  Most of you know I wrote a book called Wanted: Someone to Understand.  Then I wrote a second one.  I called it, “As Long as I Understand.”  I’m not sure I had total understanding and wrote a third one called “Beyond Understanding.”   My newest idea regarding these books is to have next one called “Beyond” and by the time that one is ready for public view, I will put out an empty book like a journal and call it “Be”.

      I think for years I’ve had this illusion the BE was the idyllic, that state of being of enlightenment, bliss, contentment and timelessness that I experience sometimes.

      After a sleepless, grief-stricken night following a week of too much of many things and mostly recognition that my brother’s cancer is palliative, I realize BEING is in the sleepless all-knowing moments as well.

       Another first line of a song Carolyn McDade wrote is where it is at for me today.  It states: “Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm but peace within the storm, within the storm, peace.”

        So maybe being in the moment; whatever that moment is; is the measurement after all.

                                                        December 8, 2014

—Ellen Sagh

summer:  306 382-5204
winter      480 373-1734
writings:   ellensagh.com

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