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16. Reflections

I’ve spend the last twenty five years in reflection. Journaling became a daily reflection. A history class had me believing we must examine the past, so we don’t repeat it. A woman shared the famous maxim, “Know thyself.” and I took it to heart. I believed if I could understand my past, I’d accept it and be happy ever after.
Now I attempt to live my present as I share parts of my past. In about 2003, a journal entry states, “I examine my life over and over to get back to who I really am and when others listen I express deep, deep pain and move beyond it.”
This is a poem from back then I’d like to share:

Living life lovingly

Laughing through the tears

Lest U be Seen

Laughing in the darkness

Lessons in Love

Emotion is Here

Itching to get out

Infinite possibilities

Cast inside and around

Being who I am

Shine on

Heal myself

Help others

Transform our world

History repeats

Till we hear our call

Claiming to be one

Calypso

Chrystalis centred

Crashing Thru Fear

Raging Inferno Can’t

Banish Existence

Carrying on

Generational Angst

Allowing it’s Exit or

Entry into Oblivion

And Enter a new day

Dreaming

Discovery

Desperate no more

Descent into hell

is disconnection

Deepest desire

Divisions aside

Delusions destroyed

Awe

At one

Heartfelt happening

Hail peace

Harmony within.

Who would have thought I’d be sitting on a golf resort patio seeing the reflection of palm trees and a water feature in the windows as I ate a scrumptious chicken berry delight salad this week following a score of thirty six on the challenging nine hole executive.
I have much more harmony than I had in 2003 and much of that is due to reflection and this writing club. THANK YOU

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