ellensagh

14. Rocking

When I was young, I did not experience sitting in a rocking chair or being held by someone sitting in a rocking chair; but I believe I read about those kind of comfort experiences.
I did hear about my Gramma being found sitting in the middle of her farmyard rocking in a rocking chair the morning after her husband had backed over and killed their two year old granddaughter. Now when I think of that, it makes total sense that my Gramma would be rocking; any attempt at finding comfort. What else could you do?
My life has changed dramatically many times. One time , I created a change by up and quitting my job and moving three hours away to get a rest. I think it may have been part of a bigger picture because it allowed poetry to flow.
Prior to that move, I had three years of non stop chaos as I went through personal crisis, then a divorce and custody battle, amidst a criminal court case holding an abuser accountable and creativity galore as I was part of creating a safe place for survivors of sexual abuse. I was raising two teenagers. My daughter had gone to live with my ex-husband and life was too hard to keep on going as it was, so I quit my job, moved away and went on welfare.
I was living in this oil rich city of big trucks and people with lots of play things while I was walking everywhere trying to put enough money together to keep us in groceries. One day my first ever courier package arrived at my door. I had to sign for it. It held five one hundred dollar bills. I stared in disbelief.
It was from a farm family who had been my neighbors when their and my kids were babies. They heard I was struggling and the note said to use the money for whatever I wanted and no strings attached.
I bought a rocking chair. I didn’t use all the money because I know I used about twenty bucks for the kids and I to have Chinese food. My daughter was back living with me then and for me, it was a celebration.
I find it interesting that both my children have rocking chairs in their homes right now and I have like a gliding, round the world type rocker in my summer home and more than one in my winter one.
I am ready to rock!

November 20, 2017

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