64. My God Tree

      About ten years ago, a woman I know went to a Spirituality class and when it was over, told me, as part of the class, she had to draw a God tree.  That intrigued me.

      I went home and pulled out my journal.  I drew my God tree.   It looked like a clump of prairie grasses with the roots spread out underground almost as big as the clump of grass on top of the sod. 

      I wrote in my journal, “As if I came from the sod and built a steady, stable life and now there are endless possibilities of shoots; new growth going in every direction. I’m not sure what has died away; what needs to be saved; needs to be tended to; taken back, reclaimed or to what I need to say good-bye.”

     Back then, I wrote about what the parts represented:

          The Sod was my Irish and Canadian roots and me trying to build a sturdy, stable life for myself through my relationships with my kids, my family of origin, and my friends.

          The new shoots were the new growth in my life.  I had just completed a marathon in Ireland, had started dating, and had moved up in my career.  I was taking classes to be a personal injury representative and preparing to facilitate a retreat for women.

          Some of the grasses in my God tree had died and for me that was about the marathon being over; the months of training ended. I had also let people know I was not going to give the one-day workshops that used to be a part of my life. Just like the dead grasses.

          When I thought about what was needing to be saved, I knew it was the walking, singing, and dancing that had been a big part of that year. It helped me realize I needed to be taking care of myself; feeding myself good food, taking care of my house and of friendships that were important to me.

          I asked myself what the taking back was about.  It was my spirituality that had always been a big part of my life. I was reclaiming love for myself.

     Now ten years later, I know my god tree would not be prairie grasses. Although I love prairie grasses, my god tree expanded. I don’t spend as much time on introspection. I am still into self-awareness. I still write, but not as much and have a few different writing projects on the go. I am happy to be coming back to this writing group.  Thank you to each of you  for having me.

                                       November 12, 2012

—-Ellen Sagh

summer:  306 382-5204
winter      480 373-1734
writings:   ellensagh.com

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