ellensagh

BOOK IV: BEYOND

          Prologue
Book IV Beyond details the unusual experiences I’ve had in life. It is the fourth book in a series that follows Books 1-3 found below after the short stories on this website. The first three books were called Wanted: Someone To Understand, As Long As I Understand, and Beyond Understanding. I knew I wanted to call this fourth book Beyond. I want to share these unusual experiences with anyone who is interested in them.
I am not needing anyone to understand; I’m happy I am at a place I can talk about them. It’s great knowing it’s okay to be different and to be who I am; be how I am and be all I am. I wrote a song like that and I shall put it on my Ellen Sagh YouTube channel one of these days.  Enjoy!

 


April 10, 2005 my grandson stayed overnight and I saw his aura for the first time; pure white and about one-half inch all around his face and head area. Beautiful.

It was another two years before I saw my partner’s aura for the first time. It was June and we were up north at Canada’s National Park and this song came out:

“Smell of pine trees consume me

            Waskesiu water lapping our toes

            Deer grazing beside me

            Black poplar fluff snows.

            Sounds of squirrels chattering;

            Quietly scampering from tree to tree

            Crows cawing, magpies squawking

            Woodpeckers tapping the trees.

           

            Beer and cheezies do tempt me

            Sitting on the deck in the sun

            Eight pelicans soaring

            Seeing his aura first time

            Elk grazing on grass greens

            A fawn with spots jumps out of its bed

            Billowing clouds blow over

            Rustling leaves in the wind.

Speaking of auras, in 2005 I was invited to a couple’s place for supper. They support new refugees to our country who were there as well. The man from the other side of the world shared how he and his wife had been separated by war; how he was reunited with his wife and son after years of hiding, torture, wandering, being held captive and shared what his wife went through; experiences like being interrogated. They had both been refugees of different countries of five million and were being moved. They found each other on a street in a different country. As he is sharing, I am seeing this golden white shining aura, the most intense I have seen around anyone, around him. I’d look away and it followed about two feet on each side of him. He kept giving credit to God, calling it a miracle. I give credit to that energetic connection; the essence of each person that is connected to the essence of all that is; the sacredness or the divinity I guess although that word is so hard to use as it links it to religion and so much not okay is happening because of religion.

As I share about light experiences; in 1999 I went to a friend’s Friday night potluck.  After we ate, and discussion turned to macrobiotic cooking; I stepped out her back door to have a smoke.  As I stood on the steps sucking it in; all of a sudden, I could see lines of energy from this huge poplar tree in the yard next door; coming from the tree to me – connected to my stomach area.  It was like a dinner plate sized circle on my mid-section with lines going out about every two inches and connecting to a huge circle around the tree. I could feel the lines going out from me to the tree and I said “oh my god” and closed my jacket and they were gone.  Lines of yellow white light.  I did not go back in the room and talk about it as I was meeting most of the people for the first time.  I did tell my friend the next morning. I wanted to tell the guy I’d been seeing as we previously spoke about energies people said they could feel or see. Those were people from books; not in my or his own experience. During the next few days I kept thinking about those energy lines. They had been lines of light; like filaments of light from me to the tree.  Is it release or connection? Does stored emotion block connection?  The experience felt monumental.

 


In 1999 as well, I volunteered at the theatre and the first play had a holy roller Christian type preacher coming to this small town on the prairies.  I saw the actor who was playing the pool hall owner surrounded in white light and as he spoke, blue light emanated out from him across the stage. I found it interesting that I was not seeing any of my family of origin in light and I was spending lots of time with them.

Another experience that year took place as I was facilitating a retreat where the theme was ‘Coming Home.’ My next morning’s dream was building the roof of my house. To me it meant my spirituality.
The night before when the participants and I were gathered in a room celebrating steps we had made in our lives, I shared: “I have arrived, I am alive, I can feel joy, I can be sexually aroused and feel good about it.”

It was the first time I knew what the word serenity meant. It is how I would describe that weekend. When one of the women was sharing that evening, I saw an orange glow all around her top half and brilliant blue from her stomach, chest and up to her throat. When I shared my experiences with the co-facilitator and the safe worker later; deep, deep crying came from somewhere inside me.

That same year, the women from the disbanded New Hope group and I were together on a Sunday afternoon. I saw two of them and the whole couch they were sitting on in white light. One of them had a brilliant green light around her heart. It was right when she was really listening and being there for the other one. Is that the color of love?

The year following, I was at my sisters for the weekend. She was so upset as her daughter had not come home by curfew time and there had been quite the scene when they went looking, found and brought her home. I saw my sister’s bodily figure in white light but it was four feet away from her. She had a housecoat on and there on the wall four feet away was her figure in white light. I could see the ties of the housecoat in the outline of light. I am wondering if that is where the expression, “She was beside herself” came from. The same things happened a little while later in her bedroom; me seeing the white light outline four feet away from her body. It wasn’t just seen once. I never did see it any time or day following those two occurrences.

Mom was dying around that same time frame. I took time off work to sit in the hospital with her. My Aunt Laura was sitting on the edge of her bed, telling a funny story about her Aunt Marg coming from Regina and visiting the homestead. She wanted to manage the oxen and the stone boat and Aunt Laura’s dad had given her the reins. As she spoke of Aunt Marg standing on the flat to the ground stone boat and the oxen walking straight into a slough with her long dress and shoes wet to the knees, I saw raspberry pink light all around my aunt’s chest area and radiating out from her as she spoke.

Those days when I talked to certain people on the phone; as if I was seeing their aura as I listened to them. I did some meditations I’d call going deep. One day as if deep blue and yet bright blue like water took over my whole head and yet I was so conscious, sometimes it was yellow and there was an instance where I had knowing; knew the deep blue meant deep healing was taking place; the green was love and yellow was being in my own power.

I went to a movie. I saw an aura around the guy on the movie screen who was talking about how crime goes down when love meditation is happening. I wonder if the message is what I do affects others and what I do for myself affects me.

One day later that month, a close friend was over and we had a fire in the fireplace. We listened to each other; sat and talked and talked. I saw her aura – green and wondered aloud if the color maybe meant growing. The green color; which was the shape of her figure; wasn’t around her; but closer to me, in front of her by the door. She said knew it was about her being ahead of herself. That night I slept through the night; a rare occurrence.

In 2006, there was something processing or healing at a deep level; about being okay; worthy; as good as, or whether I’m worth anything. Wondering if I will have the tears, the crying episodes all my life?  I’m so sick of it; the pain; the heartache. I have a beautiful house, money, job, friends and yet there is incredible sadness, pain and grief. I think of the pain my daughter is in because of me and I cry. How can I ever recapture the joy?  I think there was some joy. I’ve been seeing auras around people and things for weeks. What is that about?

In July of that year, I’m sitting in my backyard seeing a blue light aura around the trees; while I wait for my sister to arrive for the day.

Then I might go a long time without seeing any light or aura. One time in March of 2007 I went to a Stephen Lewis talk on what is happening in a Grandmothers for Grandmothers movement. I saw a green light aura all around Stephen Lewis’s head. I called it a green heart light aura.

 


A long time previous I attended a new type of meditation. It was November 1999 and I wrote in my journal: “Am I setting too high a standard for myself and just never measuring up? I went to a vipassana meditation for two hours on Friday evening and nine hours Saturday. Nothing big happened except the colours I saw in my mind’s eye and yet I think something wonderful is: like body, mind and heart coming together. When I think of meditating for eleven hours; sounds bizarre; was called Open the Heart but what really happened was we sat for three quarters of an hour and then we walked for three quarters of an hour and continued to do that for the eleven hours and a few short talks about three times by the leader. A little bell sound indicated walk. I was restless between one and three pm on the Saturday but other than that, was okay for me. Unsure if I’d do it again. The first five hours I had grief on my mind but after that; saw some colours but mostly blank spaces in my mind. Sometimes, as if stories that weren’t my stories were there. Was different for me to be in a hall of about twenty people and not to connect or even make eye contact with anyone for all that time; to be with my heart. Felt calm and peaceful when I left. It was a different but really quite wonderful experience.”

 


I started the 2016 year with several light experiences. From my journal of January 7, 2016: “last night I had a white light experience. I could not sleep. Insomnia for hours had me up reading and then went back to bed; started thinking I will say, “I love you Ellen when you were one, I love you Ellen when you were two, and think of myself as a baby, etc; and all up through the years.  By the time I was to five or six saying I love you Ellen, white light was streaming into the top of my head.”

I travelled back to Saskatchewan from my winter home in the south and another journal entry of January 12, 2016 read, “in like an aspect of myself that is new; whole body trembling inside; not sleeping more than three hours a night for the three weeks following Christmas. I took a week trip back to Saskatoon; seeing my brother in hospital; yet functioning in the days in the south; like scores of eighty-seven twice in golf with friends; winning tennis tournaments; crying in writing class when I read my poem about terror.  When I would meditate, I’d see raspberry, then blue, then green with little blue lines; or all white; then back to color for the twenty minutes. Not easy living like this.”

Entry of February 17, 2016 reads: “I saw auras when I was home at Christmas two months ago; then hadn’t since except for the twenty-minute meditation color experiences. Then yesterday I saw my daughter’s aura through the computer skype. My hubby did not and we were sitting there together. The aura was blue all around her body. I hadn’t seen one that blue since I saw a co-worker who had a similar one around her body. That woman, back in the early 2000’s; looked in that moment similar to the Virgin Mary pictures I’d seen throughout my life. Back then, I walked over to her and let her know what I was seeing; blue light around her and I was thinking how she looked like the Virgin Mary. She later told me of being pregnant at the time and hadn’t shared with anyone.” 

In February of 2016 I also wrote in my journal: “Last night I saw a man’s aura around him as he explained a system similar to a handicap in golf; we are going to use in tennis called tencap. Thoughts that came to me at the time the aura was happening was, ‘he’s in his own power’; and the realization I have not seen that color or that strong around anyone previous to this. His aura was a dark yellow color I would describe as a mustard field yellow but darker. Life is interesting!”


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