SOW! Word of the Week. ‘What you sow, you shall reap.’ I think that’s a bible saying. I don’t like it. I don’t like much that’s the bible. I do think it’s an inspired book; but it’s like I have boycotted the bible. I got rid of every one I had in my house.
Same with the crucifixes. I even put them in a garage sale. It was facing the facts of what happened to me in a church where Jesus was hanging on a crucifix all covered in purple cloth cause it was Lent when a priest abused me in the church.
My mom always had sayings like, ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’ which I think I did here giving up the bible the same as I did a crucifix. Or giving up on Jesus the same as I did a crucifix.
My dad said to me, Don’t let one bad apple spoil the rest. I’d say there were too many bad apples.
Before I remembered being abused, I grew up and got married, was half way through raising my kids and had worked out in the world for at least fifteen years. I worked with the disadvantaged; the margins of society and started educating myself about societal issues. I took justice classes, classes on poverty, gender studies and aboriginal, colonialism issues around the world. I believe it was the women’s studies that rocked my world.
I had spent much of my teen years, early marriage and up till I took university classes in my thirties studying religion and spirituality on a personal basis. The patriarchy I saw in my world, my church, my jobs, my life and my wanting change for people less fortunate than myself prompted education.
I still have trouble with the he, he, he, male language that I hear in church since I’ve been back in that environment for six to eight weeks. Reflecting on what I am singing and what I am hearing has been challenging.
Back to what we sow, we will reap. I am in constant review of what I am putting out into the world as I believe we create our world. We are doing it in a co-creating way with everyone around us as well as the ALL THAT IS which includes all that ever was, is and will be.
Why am I bringing this up; the bible, church, my mom and dad; my past? Because it is back in my present and allowing me the opportunity to heal and leave behind what I no longer need. I still function with every moment is my church. May I so love.
Before I end this sharing, I woke up at two a.m., with the following song lyrics and music in my head which I can sing:
MAY I SOW LOVE
IN MY EVERYDAY
IN ALL THAT I DO
IN ALL THAT I SAY.
Repeat.
– 9 January 2017 –
ellensagh 