85. My Life Is A Bonus

My life is a bonus. When a person has gone through a life changing event; a period of darkness as I have, each day of lightness is a bonus. Life changed suddenly in 1992 when memories of child sexual abuse surfaced. After thirty seven years of lying dormant, stored in some area of my body, they came. It took years to sort out.
I’d say now it’s mostly sorted. I rarely talk about it. More importantly, I rarely think about it. I do know at the time it was life changing and there were sometimes in the healing process that darkness is the only way to describe life at its lowest. A dark night of the soul some would say. How about a few dark years! Now that it is over, most of my life is filled with lightness, peace joy and happiness.
Today I radiated joy according to my friend from England as she listened to my happiness overflowing on the phone. I was sharing my new life; my new home in Arizona and I could share that my two week job share is working out.
A whole new experience. Today, I am cleaning my house in Saskatchewan and moving around the ornamental things people have given me. I call them touchstones of remembrances through the ages.
Today, I had phone calls from the kids, from friends and an hour long conversation with my hubby who is in Arizona. Conversations of connection. I had my fifty minutes session of yoga, walked through a park to have tea with a friend who only has six more radiation treatments to go. I walked home through the park where Wednesday it was minus forty-one degrees with the wind chill and today it is melting. All who I meet are smiling.
10 minute writing on the word ‘bonus’        Winter 2011

—-Ellen Sagh

summer:  306 382-5204
winter      480 373-1734
writings:   ellensagh.com

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