I looked in the mirror and I changed
That girl was hurt by someone
Her eyes are puffy As if she’s been crying
Crying all night
My heart is pounding
And I can’t breathe
My lower back is in pain
As if I’m giving birth
Images of growing up
A basement and a bed
My back it feels like it’s breaking
The pain is shooting in my head
My stomach – as if it’s distending
Knotting up Wanting to release
The pain that all along it’s been carrying
For him, For him, For him if you please.
I need to cry; cry out the pain
Give it back to him and then I will gain
My freedom back; independence too
I’ll sleep again and not be a fool
I won’t take every One at their word
I won’t always Work so hard
I won’t need a mask To hide behind
I will know Who is kind
I’ll be there always; Always for you
I’ll play music; When you are blue
I will take care of kids; And do all the rest
I’m really trying; To do my best
Deep inside; I can only cry
I’m so tired; I want to die
I am hurting; In endless pain
Give me back; My sunshine again
I want to smell the flowers; Walk in the rain
Dream of someday going on a train
Breath of life come back to me
Keep me safe and I will see
What when where who and why
Did these things that make me cry
1996
ellensagh 